You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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