let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
