I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
