everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also, beer. Big fan.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
