So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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