All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
