Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
