is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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