you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
