How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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