We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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