it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
