i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
