i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
