Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
