Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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