i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
PANTIES FOUND
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
