That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
