turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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