I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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