Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
