Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
