He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
