My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
