Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
