So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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