Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
