Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You were trust falling into bushes
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
