I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
