People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
