shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
