why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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