i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
