once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
