I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
