Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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