One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
