So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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