i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
