man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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