I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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