how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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