I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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