I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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