sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
