The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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