this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
