I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I cut my penus on the lid.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
