Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
