that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
