Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
