Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
